On Soul Mates

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert


I’ve been staring at this quote for about a week now. It brings to mind a lot of recent personal experiences and conversations.

What is a soul mate? Does everybody have a soul mate? Do you have  just one? One person in the whole, entire universe that is meant for you? That’s what Hallmark and Hollywood want you to think. That’s an idea that sells.

To most people at least. I disagree.

I’m not sure if soul mates really exist, or if its just a term we’ve developed over the past couple hundred years in our human quest for love, romance, passion, and just plain acceptance. I certainly don’t believe that there is one person out of 6 billion that is right for me. Hell, there could be a million people that are right for me. I just haven’t met them. Or maybe I have, it just wasn’t the right place or right time. I think the real point that this term “soul mate” is trying to explain, however, is that intensity you feel when you meet a certain person. The desire to be better, to change, to grow. Very few people force that response from you. Because change is painful, growing is painful. People get set in one direction and it’s hard to turn around, to halt, to reverse. Inertia is more than just one of Newton’s Laws. It applies to human instinct as well. Somebody on one path will stay on one path, unless forced to change. Unless awakened to something better.

I’ve done a lot of awakening recently. And, while painful, I’m a much happier and more stable person because of this. I feel free, and I’m determined to hold on to that feeling with all the strength I’ve got.

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